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Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Half Past Dead: Prologue

The land between is dark.
Empty.
Maddening to mortals.
But the dark clouds part for me, and they hum, because they know who I am, and they know to move.
There are screams inside the clouds.
Screams no one but me can hear.
Screams that I cannot silence, no one can silence.
And I pass the screams, a hollowed ache still pounding. No one can make it past the screams. All break down, refuse to move, get swallowed up until it's their screams harmonizing with the others.
Poor souls.
But there are openings, too, sparkling with a light only I can see.
There are people inside the openings.
The dead.
Most are alone. Some are in groups, curled up with those who passed with them.
One touch. That's all the need.
Not to live.
Not to die.
To live in death.
Their eyes will be empty, their minds drained away, but they will be there. They won't be lost and screaming.
No one knows where they are.

Outside of the beyond, I hide myself.
Because the dead are empty, and I feel responsible. Even though I didn't kill them; Life did.
I took them.
But they're empty.
The dead look familiar. They always do.
Because they are.
I see them twice in the beyond.
Before Life fills their body, and after Life has left them behind. And the image freezes itself in my memory, and never lets it go.
I don't know them. I don't know any of them. But I have to remember them.
Have to.
Always.

It's raining right now.
I can feel it, though I can't see it, and the wetness doesn't reach my head.
Haven't seen it. Ever.
But I know it's happening, for surely the wetness that covers the bodies aren't tears.
Either way, I know the world has darkened. That's obvious from the starved bodies, the mauled limbs, the windpipes crushed by ropes hung on a door. The tears that stain the faces of mothers. Father. Aunts. Uncles. Grandparents.
Children.
And I can't look away, because I need to find them. I don't need to see their body, but even if I don't look now, I'll see them again. So it's easier just to get the first look out of the way now.
Some people are terrified. They shrink away and don't know what's happening. The scream and cry and weep for their loved ones that they can't find. Others sit up and reach their arms out for me in anticipation, not afraid of where they are going. Still others don't react, their eyes empty of thought or emotion, and they never do come back right. And the final group of those too young, or too old, to know anything. Unborn children who will never see the world through eyes that will never form.
It's sad, but I have to do it.
I take their arms, or feet, or torso, if that's what I can find. I pull them from their abyss where they float, waiting. None will remember this; in their minds, there's no gap of nothingness between their lives. Usually I will look them in the eyes briefly and point them in the direction of the after. They stumble towards the door, their movements uncoordinated, slow. But they make it.
Sometimes I whisper to the ones who panic, "It's better there." or some sort of reassurance. Some still panic. Others relax. But it usually works.
Until I'm faced with the knowing eyes of a boy who utters, simply, "How?"
And I know then he has it figured out, all of it, and before I know it I've held out my hand, and he looks down, and his small, young fingers curl around mine.
Black dots fill his eyes, and he stares at me with amazed eyes.
I don't explain.
Not yet.
But soon.


I've seen you before.
I was there before you were born, in those last moments. I stood next to her, the dark figure who took your hand while she did and passed you through, and I smiled. I never smile, but that was different.
And Life glared, because this wasn't supposed to have happened, but it did.
And now a few years later I hold out my hand to you again.
It's just one step further.
One step.
One second.

I hold your hand, and I walk you down the road to eternity.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Soon!

I promise, I'll post more soon! School's almost over here, so I'll have WAY too much free time. Expect reviews! :)

Saturday, May 21, 2011

IT'S THE GAIAPHAGE....

IN CAT FORM, DESTROYING WORLDS WITH HIS/HER CUTENESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Friday, May 6, 2011

Stella Nox... Ghost Hunter???????

That's what I was today. :)
For my Gifted class, we have to perform a play for the entire school as one of our units. Me, being a bossy control-freak who loves to write, took control and wrote the entire thing. In two weeks. It was hard, but they loved it.
We performed the play today... and the school loved it. I feel bad for the one guy, though- he had to wear a tutu. He's never gonna live that one down. XD It was a spoof on ghost hunting shows, and everyone played themselves, with one major trait. The one girl was a klutz, my best friend said OMG all of the time, her twin sister said like all of the time, we had a guy who kept giving theories, and a girl who screamed. A lot. Me? I yelled at everyone. It was so much fun. :)

Reading-wise, I'm working on The House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer. It's been sitting on my bookshelf for years, and I've only now picked it up. I'm glad. I've said this before- I love dystopias. THOS isn't my favorite ever, but it's different, and interesting. Although Matt kept getting on my nerves with all of the El Patron defending stuff and never thinking he was bad, but you know.... the kid's in a different time and stuff. I keep trying to remind myself of that. I'm in the last section, just started it, actually. I'll be done soon.
I'm going to the real Borders tomorrow, so I'll either pick up The Long Way Home (finished The Last Thing I Remember on Monday) or, if I'm feeling spendy, Eona.


That's all. :)

Monday, May 2, 2011

Tales

**These poems are sort of related. #2 is the same event in the guy's point of view, just so you know. I love these, so I'm posting. 

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Updates, I Guess?

Reading:

-Currently reading The Last Thing I Remember... sooo addictive. sooo addictive. and so darn confusing. I'm also working on Waterfall by Lisa T. Bergren. Perfect book for me. I'm a total medieval nut (in my Gifted class we did a disasters unit and had to research a disaster and write a news article and a human interest story on it. Guess what I chose? Yep. Black Death.) so a book set in the 14th century is just my thing. Plus the fact that I love Luca. A lot. :)

-I had a very strong urge to pick up Eona today at Borders, but I didn't, because I only had 10 dollars with me (babysitting money) and it was 20 dollars, so yeah. I read Eon and enjoyed it, didn't love it (Honestly, the only reason I finished it was probably because I love Dillon with a burning passion.) I did, though, flip through to see if he showed up. ... He. Was. Insane. Worse than Eon. And not in the funny, cute way Toto (from Plague- see below) is either- I mean, all out, creepy insane. O.o I still love him though. The poor guy...

-I got Plague the day after it came out (Waldens didn't have it at first.), and I have three words to say:  Oh. My. God. I was grossed out, repulsed, and totally scared of bugs. And Hunter! What did the guy do to the world? He got beat up in Hunger, can't even speak right, was exiled from Perdido Beach... did he really deserve to have to get the bugs? I was so sad when I saw that (after being totally grossed out) and then I was really upset when he died. I knew it was coming... I just... you know... bleh.I'm happy to say, though, that I love Sanjit just as much as I did during Lies- if not more. He was so cute with Lana- I mean, I went from being grossed out with the bugs to laughing. The book needed some cute, light scenes- and he provided just that. Except for the hospital scenes. And he's so darn hilarious. XD The FAYZ really did need someone like him. And Dekka! She's always been my favorite female character, and I'm happy to say I love her even more now. I felt bad for her, though. I also LOVED Toto. He was crazy, but so cute, and I loved how with everything you had to expect him to chime in with "He believes that!" or "He doesn't believe that!". Oh, Toto. :) Caine was... urgh. He was my original favorite, but he really seemed to slip in Plague. (Although I was like. Oh. Caine. when he was like "I will be king of the FAYZ!") He's supposed to get karma in Fear, so let's hope he gets better. *fingers crossed* Taylor really annoyed me. I always just sort of ignored her, but now I want to claw her eyes out with a fork.
Anyway, I thought Plague was brilliant. I was utterly hooked, and I was near tears at points. It really got to me, and I loved every second of it. I was never bored, and only looked ahead once, which is a major accomplishment for me. I totally reccomend this book.

-Oh, and I'm finally trying Inkheart again. A lot of members of YWG keep gushing about it, and last time I listened to them I found an all-time favorite. (The Book Theif) I'm hoping it's good. :) Last time I had a movie cover, and I despise those.

-My sister's starting to read my stuff, which is great. :) I got her to read Beautiful Creatures by Margaret Stohl and Kami Garcia, which she enjoyed, and The Knife of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness, which she also enjoyed. That's a real accomplishment. Oh, and my dad is reading Gone- and he loves them. That makes me happy. :)

-I've really been liking dystopias lately. I have no idea why.

Writing:


-Half Past Dead (HPD) has reached 15000 words, and it's out of the rut!! The rut is chapters 3-7. See, they're vital- that is where all of the explanations and backstory are- but they're not fun to write, and there isn't much interaction. Now I have Aisling, Sarabeth, Talbot, Celeste, and Devin at my disposal- mwahahahahahaha!!!!!!! Talbot's my favorite anyway (even though he's an unlikeable jerk)- along with Cain and Kye. XD

-I'm still gathering ideas for NaNo. Currently, I have three. Requiem of Reveries, a dystopia set in an underground prison and a very segregated society (all races are kept separate). And it has Chors in it. I love Chors.
Ever, a dystopia where America retreated to an underground facility where all citizens are kept in vats of water getting a chemical all the time that induces vivid, long term dreams. They're dreaming of a fantasy world, where Elle, called Ever, is unplugged and sent back in right away- and is in a different dream. And Caspen, son of one of the technicians, was thrown in accidentally. It's a very unique premise.
And an untitled fantasy-esque story where this guy wakes up in a field. He's entirely alone, and doesn't know who he is, where he is, or why he's there. It's still in early stages, but I love the idea.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The Many Names of my Curent Project

You know what's sad? The fact that I'm nearing the 10000 word milestone of my current project...
And it has no title yet.
Seriously. I've been calling it MLFL all this time, but I honestly don't have a solid title yet. It's odd- usually, the title is the first thing I come up with. So, here are all the titles I've considered so far, from earliest to latest:


  • The Thirteenth Month (because it has to do with the Thirteenth Month, an extra month every ten years where the god-like beings that play a huge role in the novel have a series of meetings. It's also when they're at their weakest. It's a major point of the novel.)
  • Marked (see, the original plot involved Luce getting "Marked" by Sin, where he pretty much has one year to survive. It came from a trailer for Beastly, so that's why. Yeah, that plot got cut off once I came up with the gods-thing- which is recycling an idea I've attempted three times now- but I did keep the marks, just changed them around a lot.)
  • The Times of Life and Death (This one's actually sort of self explanatory. The main things are Life and Death, and the MC was taken in by Death, so I just put it into a title.)
  • Living for Lies (MC's life is pretty much a bunch of lies- about who he is, about his life, about everything.)
  • My Life for Lies (Just recycling the one above into a new title.)
  • Half Past Dead (This one's my favorite, as it seems the most like the novel. MC's dead, he's died a bunch of times.)
The kicker? This has only been around for about a month! Less, even. Any thoughts on the titles? Feel free to tell me.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Requiem Of Reveries

Aerith stood by the edge of Nowhere, right in front of the rock walls that she so often took refuge in. Her head was cocked to the side slightly, and she was absentmindedly stroking her collarbone, staring straight at the bleak, gray surface of the rock that caged everyone in. Her arm stretched out and stroked it. The surface was texture less. Just like the coveralls that she wore, that Chors wore, that Jeace wore, that everyone wore. Texture less as the crumbling building. Texture less as everything but the Games headquarters.

She couldn't help but think of Above, if she climbed that wall fast enough, before the Roks noticed her and tried to stun her down. Would she reach it, the aboveground? The place she, everyone, was from?

Again, Aerith knew the memories were there- the memories that had been stripped away for eight years- right on the brim of her memory. She imagined a miniature of herself inside her head, reaching out as far as she could, standing on the very edge of her toes, trying to bat them closer.

But when her hand touched the rock again, she felt... metal. Something only the Games headquarters was made from. The rock wasn't metal. She knew that. Something huge. Ancient. It hadn't been used in centuries, but somehow it was preserved.

"This, my children, is a train. It's a very old object, and used to be used for transportation." The children gasped. How had it moved? It was so huge, it would never get anywhere. "A mineral that we no longer have would be placed in it, and it would run on a track. If it ran off the track, it would lose its way, and nothing good would happen. Moving on..."

Aerith gasped, and tried her hardest not to fall over. Her knees were shaking, and she wanted to fall over in delight. Sure, she thought, maybe the memory was false- her imagination, so vivid, Chors had always said- but... a train. A... a runaway train. Were they all on that, she wondered? Was she a train that had lost its track?

"What's the matter, Aerie? You trying another escape? Let me tell you, it doesn't look good on your evaluation." She spun around, hoping no one had seen her momentary breakdown. The key to survival in Nowhere was totally hiding yourself. If she showed the slightest bit of emotion, she knew she was vulnerable.

But it wasn't an enemy she saw. She recognized the faint limp, the unruly black hair and vivid green eyes, the scars and wounds on his face that were replaced daily and never seemed to heal. She swallowed down the stone that had lodged in her throat. "N... nothing. Just daydreaming."

Chors scowled. "You know that's not going to get you anywhere. The dreamers are the ones that get crushed. Better not start hoping or you'll just get thrown away." There were times like this when Aerith had a hard believing he was the same person who had taken her in when she was seven years old and scared to death. Sure, he looked after her- but Chors was so serious, so hard, she had a hard time spending too much time with him.

"I know that. I'm not stupid, am I?" She closed her eyes. She wanted to tell him, so badly- but not here, not where anyone could hear. Someone who remembered would get beaten until they told how- and if they, like her, didn't know, they'd die for sure.

Aerith did not want to die that way.


That night, when the lights were dimming, they sat in the messily put together hut that served as a shelter for them. Chors leaned over the lamp, looking uneasy, anxious, which he always did. Aerith lay against the back wall, legs stretched out in front of her, arms crossed across her chest. Suddenly, she straightened up as the question she had always wanted to ask came out.

"Chors, do you believe in anything?"

He didn't look up. "Yes. I do. I believe in hell, because we're standing in it. None of that other stuff, though. It's too far-fetched. It's for weak people who think they need to believe in something to live."

Aerith nodded. She had known he'd answer that way. "But you have to believe in something, don't you? Something positive?" When he didn't respond, she added, "If you don't, then why do you live, if life has no purpose?"

"I live, because I have a life," Chors said quietly. "I live because I'm alive, and even though I'm moral less, I don't believe in wasting a life. Besides, I think... I know... this isn't going to last forever."
 
"So you agree with me, then? That someday this place is going to breakdown and we'll be sent Above?" she asked, hope pouring into her voice. Her track. He was on her track!

"No. Because some of us are going to be sent up there." He looked up and glared at Aerith. "Those of us that have homes to go running back to will. They'll go running back, and their families will graciously accept and apologize furiously. The rest of us are going to be put in some facility and tested on for the rest of our lives."

She was about to say, "That isn't true," when she realized the full meaning behind part of Chors' comment. "You're... you haven't... you were...?" She knew what she wanted to say, what she had to, but...

"Yeah, that's right. I'm prison scum. 100% positive." Chors' teeth were gritted as he said, "Listen to me, Aerie. I've never set foot aboveground. I don't know what sky is. I don't know what fresh air is. Even of I do go aboveground, I have nowhere to go to, and no idiot's going to take in a piece of prison scum. Besides... I'd never be able to adapt."

Aerith said softly, "I don't either."

"No, you do." His tone was sneering. Harsh. Raging. Aerith slunk back against the wall. "You do, you just can't remember it. Poor you."

She had to drop the subject. She knew that. "How do you know, though? Records... and you told me about the drug, so how?"

Chors leaned forward again, sagging, looking exhausted. "You thought all that I knew about the drug was from others, right? Well, you're wrong. One year before you came here. And you know what I remembered, after not eating a thing for almost a week? Nothing. Nothing at all. I have nothing taken away." Chors turned out the lantern and lay down, on his side, as always, and curled his knees up to his chest, like a baby. He always slept that way. It was the only way he felt safe. Protected.

"I'm losing it, Aerie. I know it. I feel like I've been straight to Center and back. I don't know how I'll stand it for three more years." In the darkness, she thought she saw him rocking slightly.

But, larger on her mind, was how she'd spend her two extra years without him.

And she knew, at that moment. She knew that she was a runaway train, but she was running right next to her track. Every day, she drew farther away. Chors, though... Chors was different. Chors never had a track, and right in front of him was a canyon.

They were all trains, and everyone, she knew, Nowhere or Above, had lost their track.

Explanation: It's a dystopia, and it's set in a future where anyone who breaks the law, is unwanted, or is mentally handicapped, is sent to this underground prison that's totally unsupervised. Food is provided, but not evenly- it'll turn up in places, and there are always people killing for food. It's horrible, really. The closest thing to supervision is a weekly check made by government workers, who are called Roks by the inmates, to check the number of dead. There are also lockdowns if someone gets near escape, but those are rare. The Center of Nowhere is said to be Insanity itself, because no one can go the center and come back sane. Because of that, a tournament was created, called the Games, where anywhere from 30-50 inmates raced to the center and back. It's not pretty. People end up killing each other, and the few who come back are locked in a small metal room with no outside communication until one person's left. This winner is promptly taken out and "reevaluated" for leave, but 99% of the time they just get sent back. All arrivals are drugged upon arrival so they have no memories- therefore, no one knows why they're there. They're given a steady supply of the drug in all of the food. Sometimes, those who figure this out will fast for a week or so, trying to regain memories.


Anyway, the main character is Aerith. She came in when she was seven, and was immediately taken in by Chors (who is amazing awesome), who taught her how to survive. And there's also an unnamed MC who's aboveground- see, there, there's a president elected every... uh... couple years. Once they reach 60, the year of "Sleep" (aka death) their given second is in charge until their oldest child reaches 16 (age of adulthood, if they're underage), where they get two years in office. If they succeed and the general public wants them in power, cycle repeats. If not they get "put to sleep" (again, killed) and there's an election. And it repeats. Other MC is 15 years old, one year away from maturity, the president's son. He's never left the estate that the president is given, and then his father gets murdered. Yeah.


I really love this idea, and I'm probably either going to it when my current project dies or for NaNo. :) 

Oh, and do you know the hilarious thing about this? Chors and Aerie are the gender-swapped versions of their similar role-bearing counterparts in Lost and Found. I'm not kidding. At least other MC isn't a Nightmare wanna-be. That's be creepy. 

SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah. Take that, writer's block!! I managed to beat it by going forward to a scene where MC totally loses it, and I go back to where I am... and the words come out! Yay!

Also, I've been getting very involved in art again lately. Here's some stuff I've managed to throw out lately:






And, yeah, that's it, I guess.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Oh no.

MLFL is stuck.
At.
6000 words.
:/
I THINK I know how to attack the block, though. This involves going ahead, adding in Cheyenne (who I cannot wait to write about), killing someone, dragging an unnamed character into this mess, and a whole lot of Prelude 12/21 by AFI. Yep.

Other bad thing is that my MP3 player just deleted everything AGAIN, so I have to listen to music on the computer with short earbuds. Ugh.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

I'm Running


  • Like a runaway train,
    I seem to have lost my track-
    It won't be found.

Back!

Whoa, I've been gone forever. D: Sorry!

Good news and bad news!
BAD:

  1. Everlight died. Big time. See, I left it for a bit, and then I came back realized I had lost about 2000 words. Not good. So I gave it up.
  2. The new project is a bit... odd. Meaning, it's going a bit slower than I wish it was. 
  3. My schedule is super busy, and isn't slowing down until April. And I have no days off school until the end of April. (Blame three choruses!)
GOOD:

  1. I have a new project, called My Life For Lies, that uses the idea of these god-like beings that represent nearly every element of nature and human emotion. (Death, Life, Day, Night, Past, Present, Future, Dreams... those things) THe MC is Luce Willstein, who was taken in by Death when he was four, and now cannot stay dead. He's 16 and had died 11 times, which is a huge problem.
  2. I'm blogging again!
See you, people!

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Redesigned!

What do you think about the new layout? I'm thinking it looks much nicer, much cleaner.
I'm going to start posting more soon. Be ready!

Saturday, January 8, 2011

The Forest of Hands and Teeth

 "In Mary's world there are simple truths. The Sisterhood always knows best. The Guardians will protect and serve. The Unconsecrated will never relent. And you must always mind the fence that surrounds the village; the fence that protects the village from the Forest of Hands and Teeth. But, slowly, Mary’s truths are failing her. She’s learning things she never wanted to know about the Sisterhood and its secrets, and the Guardians and their power, and about the Unconsecrated and their relentlessness. When the fence is breached and her world is thrown into chaos, she must choose between her village and her future—between the one she loves and the one who loves her. And she must face the truth about the Forest of Hands and Teeth. Could there be life outside a world surrounded in so much death?"


WARNING: Contains spoilers


I didn't have a huge problem with this book. Honestly. It had me hooked, I teared up once, and I had a hard time putting it down. I'm a sucker for dystopias, and post-apocolypses, first person-present tense, and zombies, so I should've loved this book.


But I didn't.


First, for me, all of the likeable characters ended up dead. I couldn't stand Cass, Harry was decent, and Mary was annoying as heck. Jacob and Argos were alright, on the borderline. But the two characters I ended up loving were Jed and Travis. And even Travis was fairly bland most of the time.


Hm, and let's review what happened! Travis got mauled by Unconsecrated and Jed was pulled off a cliff and fell into a river!


I mean, I don't have a problem with characters dying. My favorites ALWAYS die. But I hate it when the main character goes, "oh! I'm so sad! nooooo!!!" and then, two chapters later when the author decided they don't want the character to show up anymore, "meh, let's forget all about this person." That is the worst kind of death, for me.


Second, it seriously slowed down in the middle when they're just hangin' out at the village place. I was bored out of my mind and kept thinking, "enough with the horrible romance! Come on Unconsecrated, make this interesting again!" I was happy when they finally did.


And then, third, I hated the love triangle/square whatever. It was horribly done, and I was just sick of Mary moping around. Especially with the Bonding, when Travis didn't speak for her, it was like "QUIT YOUR MOPING!!! Come on, is the guy REALLY that bad?" And nothing annoys me more than a canon pairing where they have no chemistry. Well, Travis/Mary wasn't exactly canon, because you kinda need both factors alive for it to work and... yeah.


Ugh. The ending. That was horrible. I hate bad endings. There was next to no closure, and it just sort of dropped out of nowhere. 
RATING: 3 stars

Well, post numero uno!!

Hi. This is my third attempt at blogging. Let's hope it doesn't fail epicallly. :)
I'll be doing reviews of YA books soon- I have two finished and to be posted, once I finish this entry.
I'm fairly new to this, so give a writer a break! I mean, I can write fiction, but blogging? Completely different.
Well, I think that's it.
So, bye?